Why should I be thankful?
There are times when we feel that we have precious little to be grateful for. When everything seems to be going wrong all around us, we can get sucked down into an endless spiral of hopelessness and depression. If this is a familiar feeling for you, you may benefit from reading this article. What is gratitude? Gratitude is generally regarded as simply an expression of appreciation for what one receives – like saying “Thank you”. But gratitude is much more than just a social courtesy. Gratitude is an emotion, spontaneously generated from within, an affirmation of goodness and warmth. It brings with it a sense of joyfulness which, after all, is what we all wish to experience in life. It is a tried and trusted fact that, over time, feeling grateful boosts happiness, reduces stress and insomnia, supports more satisfying relationships and fosters both physical and psychological health, even among those of us already struggling with mental health problems. Gratitude brings about physiological changes Gratitude is a social emotion. It strengthens relationships, and its roots run deep in evolutionary history - it comes from helping others and being helped in return. In fact, the emotion of gratitude is so powerful that it can actually bring about physiological positive changes in our body. For example, did you know that the hormones we produce when we are angry cannot physically co-exist at the same time in our body as the hormones we produce when we are feeling grateful? As a result, when we practice gratitude, anger has no choice but to dissipate and disappear into thin air! Another physiological change takes place in our brain. Specific areas of the brain are involved in experiencing and expressing gratitude, and when these areas of the brain are exercised (a bit like a muscle) in this way, we develop a heightened sensitivity to future expressions of gratitude. In other words, we get better at flexing our grey cells to practice gratitude, and the ensuing sense of joyfulness is more strongly felt. Simply put, the more we practice gratitude, the happier we feel. Gratitude pays itself forward because it compounds its benefits. So, what may be preventing me from practicing gratitude? I can almost hear you say, “Well, it’s easy enough to be grateful when things are going smoothly. It’s impossible to feel gratitude when you’re going through a rough time.” This is a common misconception. The reality is that gratitude creates joyfulness, regardless of what mood you are in to start with. So why do so many of us believe that we can’t be grateful if we’re not happy first? There may be many factors involved, including our upbringing and socio-cultural norms, pressures and expectations, especially given the materialistic culture we live in. We may be trapped in a negative ‘victim’ frame of mind, where we spend a lot of our time controlling, blaming, being critical, oppressive, angry, rigid and authoritative, to name but a few common habitual negative ways of being and relating. If you are of this mind set, it may be difficult to see and focus on the goodness in life. The good news is that our environment need not be an insurmountable barrier to developing the ability to find happiness through appreciation. How can I practice gratitude? The key word here is practice. It may be challenging at first, but perseverance will show you that simple things like just being around your family and friends can help you feel more grateful. Make a conscious effort to be more appreciative of life’s little things, e.g. a warm bed, a beautiful song, the smell of fresh coffee, a kind word from a stranger, or a refreshing spring shower after a hot day. Why not keep a journal where you jot down some big and little joys of daily life. Write down three good things you did today. Leave THANK YOU notes for others. Imagine what your life would have been like if you hadn’t experienced some positive event. Doing something to help others is another way to feel good about yourself. With practice, you will soon come to realise just how much you have to be grateful for. But, if practising gratitude on your own presents too big a challenge, you can always ask your therapist to help you along the way. Just remember, gratitude brings joyfulness, so…. Enjoy!
